I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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