I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
