I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Randomize
