ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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