i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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