I showed him my bush... on skype.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
