He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
