The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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