omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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