naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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