The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
