The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
