why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
