4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Even my vagina gasped.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
