dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I lost the right to judge tonight
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
