When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize