awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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