You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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