how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
