i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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