Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
