you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
