do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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