Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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