Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
