i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
