I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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