Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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