SEEEEXXX PLEASE
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
