My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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