i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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