he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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