im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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