Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Randomize
