I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
