I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dignity is for republicans.
you inspire me to be a worse person
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
