Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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