Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
