got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
