It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
