Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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