She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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