I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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