I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
