woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
