somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How's work?
Spinning.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
