oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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