so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
