i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
