went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
