awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think your dad took our porno
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
tell me about the fingering
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