So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
