Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
