I'm really into asian looking animals
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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