my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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