Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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