Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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