bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I am available for nakedness
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
