I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize