can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
