Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
