despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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