You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
