Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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