People with herpes should wear stickers.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
