First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
