idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
