I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
