His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize