What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
