is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Randomize
