somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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